


Captured and Healing

by Lastsyns



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 07:58:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lastsyns/pseuds/Lastsyns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor has been captured and tortured. Now even after being released can he ever be the same. Rated M for Non-con and torture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. captured

He was just passing through, that's all he was doing. But he couldn't ignore a cry for help. He wished he would have though. He wished he kept on walking and ignored that cry. He didn't see the thing that hit him over the head but he felt it, briefly.

He woke up disorientated. He was on his feet and his arms were above his head cuffed. Looking up he saw that they were chained to the ceiling and when he tried to move his feet he discovered that they were chained as well. The room was big and dimly lit. As far as he could tell, he was in the middle.

The door opened and a woman entered.

"I demand you let me go," he said angrily.

The woman just laughed at him. "You are in no position to make demands."

Still trying to keep charge he asked the woman, "What is your name, why have you brought me here?"

"Just call me Mrs. X and to study you of course," Mrs. X smiled at him and the Doctor felt his blood go colder.

"Study me how?" he asked.

She just smiled at him and turned and left the room.

"Study me how?" he screamed after her as the door closed.

He saw no one for the next four days. He was exhausted. His arms ached painfully from being held up. He was thirsty and hungry, and he longed for a drink of water.

The door opened late on the fourth day and this time she entered, with two men behind her. She walked forward and the men stayed at the door. One of them guarding either side. Both of them were tall and wearing a suit. The one on the right was holding a cup and drinking from a straw.

He licked his chapped lips, before he could help himself. She looked at him.

"Thirsty?" She snapped her fingers and one of the men left and came back with a bowl. He set it down on the ground and poured the water into it. Then he went behind the Time Lord and undid his hands from the ceiling. The Doctor immediately fell as his legs gave out after standing so long. The man paid no attention as he re-cuffed the Doctor's hands behind his back.

"Drink," Mrs. X said.

As thirsty as he was, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of him drinking the water as an animal.

"Suit yourself," she turned and left the room, leaving the two men in the room.

He tried to get up onto his feet and that is when the first blow came. He tried to move away but he was helpless to defend himself with his arms and legs cuffed together. The men continued to beat him, until finally one of them kicked him hard in the stomach, and he threw up stomach acid on the floor. The men went back to their places at the door.

He managed to roll on his side and lay there gasping for breath, his mouth and throat burned. He could see the bowl on it's side in front of him all the water was gone. The door opened again and Mrs. X came in.

"Chain him," she said and he tried to fight as he was hoisted back on his feet, but he was getting weak.

"You've made a mess of yourself," she scolded him.

He was left alone for another two days. He was weak from the beating and lack of nourishment. He hadn't slept during those last six days, and while he could go awhile without sleep, his mind was starting to slow down.

She returned with the two men and the bowl again. She set it down on the ground and had the men unchain him. He was too thirsty and weak to fight her this time and greedily drank the water. She petted his head and cooed at him.

"What a good boy you are," she cooed. He jerked away from her touch. "No, bad boy," She snapped angrily. "Very bad boy and bad boys get punished." She turned to the two men.

"Strip him," she told them and he fought them as they took off his suit top and then ripped his shirt and pulled it off. They grabbed his tie and pulled it tightly around his neck cutting of his oxygen and he fought to get their hands away. He kept fighting until stars danced in front of his eyes and his movements grew sluggish. They stripped off his shoes, trousers and boxers and then removed the tie.

He struggled for breath, as they grabbed him and started dragging him. He then noticed the cage. He was shoved roughly into it and the latch was closed and locked. He had no room to move in the cramped space.

He wondered if anyone had noticed that he hadn't returned to the TARDIS. Little did he know someone had noticed and was putting a plan in motion to find him.


	2. Rescued

-Martha Jones-

It had been two months since she had started to look for the Doctor and she was beginning to lose hope. She had been on her way to work and had discovered a phone box where it hadn't been the day before. She had rushed in excitedly to greet her friend only to find he wasn't there. A week passed and he still hadn't returned. She knew something must be wrong for him just to leave the TARDIS behind. So not knowing who else she could trust she had turned to Jack and his Torchwood team. He didn't seem as concerned at first, but he had helped her chase lead after lead to try and find their friend, but all leads were dead ends.

After a month of looking she could tell he was as concerned as she was even if he never said it, and he pushed the team to look even harder and that is what had brought them to the warehouse outside of London. The place looked abandoned as she and Jack pulled up to the building.

"Are you sure about this, Jack, the place looks empty?" she asked him.

"Looks can be deceiving Martha," and he got out of the van.

They drew there guns and entered the building, Jack leading the way. They went to room after room finding nothing. Finally they headed down to the basement. There they found a short hallway with a single door at the end.

"Locked," he said and began to try to crack the code. "This is going to be impossible."

"How impossible," Martha asked, curious of what could be down here.

"Give me five minutes."

It took longer then five minutes but finally the door opened. Martha gagged as the smell hit her and covered her mouth with her coat. They entered the room and she did throw up. There in the middle of the room was a man hanging unconscious from the ceiling. He was covered in blood and dirt from head to toe and his back and legs were crisscrossed with welts and deep gashes. He had a thick brown beard and long brown hair.

"I think he's dead," Jack said, his coat pulled up over his nose as well.

Martha went over to the man and gently put her fingers to his neck. "He has a pulse, but it's weak," She said to Jack. "Who would do this?

"I don't know," he came over and together they got the man down and laid him gently on the floor.

"We need to get him to the hospital," she told Jack.

"We can't Martha," Jack said sadly.

"Why not, he's hurt?" Martha was shocked at his cold heartedness.

"Because it's the Doctor."

"No, that's not him," Martha said turning away.

"Look at him," Jack grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face the man laying on the floor. She looked at his feet first and then scanned her eyes up his body, until she got to the face. She turned to Jack and grabbed him crying. Jack pushed her away though.

"Martha, there will be time for tears later, right now we have to help him."

He laid his long coat on the floor and Martha helped him gently lay the Doctor on his stomach on top of the coat and then Martha took her coat off and laid it on top of him. Together they carried him slowly up to the van. When they got to the van, they sat him down for a moment while Jack laid the backseat down.

As gently as they could, they put him into the back and then Martha sat with him, while Jack sped back to Torchwood and radioed ahead for Owen and Ianto to be ready.

They reached the hub and Jack and Ianto quickly carried the Doctor into the hub and down to the medical center. Owen tried to tell Martha that he could take care of the Doctor but she wouldn't listen. So together they set to work.

He was severally dehydrated and Martha feared that if they had even been a few hours later, it would have been too late. Washing off the blood they found he was covered in bruises and they had to break and reset several bones in his right arm and both legs. They worked long into the night to stabilize him.

She sat down and looked at the man laying in the bed. Both legs were now in cast and they had him on his stomach since his back was covered with a bandage and she could count his ribs that were showing. She had hooked up an IV to hydrate him and wished she could give him blood too. Now all they could do was wait.

-DW-

It had been three weeks since they had found him and he was still unconscious. Martha had barely left his side during those three weeks. She knew that his body was healing but she didn't know what she would be dealing with mentally when he came back. She had read every book she could get her hands on about mental health and dealing with people who had been tortured but she didn't know if any of the methods would work on a Time Lord.

She sat in the chair reading A Tale of Two Cities out loud to him, as he had once mentioned he loved Charles Dickens. She looked over the book at him as the chapter came to a close and saw his eyes quickly close.

"Doctor," she said softly. "Doctor it's me Martha. You're safe."

She looked at him hopefully but his eyes remained closed. She picked up the book and began to read to him again.

-The Doctor-

He had woken up to the sound of someone talking to him, he couldn't make out the words at first and then realized that it was a book. He didn't understand, was he being rewarded for something. He was laying on a bed and the last time he had been laying on a bed... No he didn't want to think about that.

He opened his eyes slowly and saw that she was concentrating on the book. She peered over the book, and he quickly closed his eyes again but it was too late she had seen him.

"Stupid, Stupid, Stupid," he told himself. Now he was going to be punished. They normally didn't let him sleep so long and now they were rewarding him and he had blown it. He waited for the beating to come but instead he heard her talk to him softly and tell him he was safe.

But he wasn't safe. No one was coming to rescue him. He was going to die here and nobody would ever know. He laid still as she started to read again. He was thirsty but he knew asking for water made it even longer before he got it. So he lay there and listened to her read and waited for her to leave.


	3. Return to the TARDIS

-Martha Jones-

He had been awake for over an hour, and he still refused to acknowledge Martha presence. He had kept his eyes closed for the longest time, but now he had opened them again and stared at her. She looked slowly over the book at him curiously. He blinked but other then that he didn't acknowledge her. She set down the book, and stood up. As she moved closer to the bed, his eyes filled with fear before he squeezed them tightly closed again. She moved back away from the bed and sat down.

"I'll stay back for now, if it makes you feel safe," she said to him in a soft voice. She waited to see if he would respond. After a few minutes his eyes opened slowly, and he stared at her with the same blank look.

"Are you in pain?" she asked and received no reaction.

"Are you hungry?" Still no reaction.

"Are you thirsty?" A quick flicker of his eyes. She stood up again and left the room.

-The Doctor-

She wouldn't leave. He laid there with his eyes closed, and she still wouldn't leave. She knew he was awake so why wasn't he being chained up again, or being put into the horrible cage. He opened his eyes, and stared at her. He watched and waited trying to see what she was going to do to him. She stopped reading, and set the book down. He watched in fear as she moved closer to the bed. He closed his eyes tightly, and waited for the pain to come, but he didn't feel anything. He heard her move away from him, and settle down into the chair again. It was silent for a moment before she began to tell him he was safe again.

He lay there with his eyes closed, and then chanced opening them again. She just watched him for a few moments, before she asked him if he was in pain, and he didn't respond. He knew this was a trick if he said he was in pain, the pain would get worse. Then she asked if he was hungry, and finally thirsty. He quickly glanced away, and glanced back at her. As she left the room he could have kicked himself. He had shown her what he wanted now he wouldn't get it. He bit his lip to keep the tears from falling.

She returned a short time later with a bottle and a straw. He continued to stare at her and wait. She came close to him, and he forced himself to keep his eyes open and watch her. He needed to see what she was going to do. She was confusing him. She leaned down in front of him, and offered him the bottle. He didn't take it. She put the bottle on the table beside his bed, and then sat down again.

-Martha Jones-

She watched sadly as the fear crossed his eyes again as she came close to him with the water. She knelt down, and offered the bottle to him. He stared at her, but wouldn't take it. She sat the bottle on the table, and then moved back to sit in the chair.

"It's okay you can drink it," she said softly.

She watched as he continued not to move except for his eyes. They glanced at the bottle, and then back to her.

"I promise Doctor," she told him, not being able to keep the tears out of her voice. "You're safe. Drink."

She wouldn't have noticed it if she hadn't been watching closely. He moved his left arm a tiny bit. Then without taking his eyes off of hers he reached the rest of the way to the bottle and lifted it slowly. He moved the bottle to his mouth, and took a tiny sip, before he set it back down. She was patient with him though. She kept telling him, he was safe and it was okay to drink, until she watched him drink more. She realized that she was right, and they were going to have a long battle ahead of them to bring the Time Lord back.

-The Doctor-

He had been in the room for a week. He had been taken care of during that week. He was laying on the soft bed still, and she had brought him food and water, and had sat for hours reading to him or just she talked to him. A part of his brain was beginning to acknowledge that it was really Martha, and not some trick. He was alone in the room at the moment and he moved hesitantly. The cast on his arm and legs made it hard to move much. He tried to roll on to his back, and pain shot through his body and he gritted his teeth. Martha returned, and he lay still again.

-Martha Jones-

He was making progress. She was able to enter the room without him pretending to be asleep, and he allowed her to approach the bed without shutting down. She hoped he was beginning to trust her so that she could help him. She had been speaking with Jack about moving him from Torchwood Hub to the TARDIS. She knew he was scared being in Torchwood. His bones were setting, he was hydrated, and his back was almost healed. He had gained a little bit of weight, but it took him all day to eat one plate of food because he would only eat when she was in the room and wasn't watching him. Thankfully Jack agreed with her, and they made plans to move him later that day.

She returned to his room. "I have a surprise for you." Fear flickered across his eyes.

"No, no, it's okay. It's a good surprise." The fear didn't go away. She went over to the wardrobe, and pulled out a shirt and a pair of shorts. Owen came in, and the Doctor closed his eyes tightly. Without any help from him they gently turned him on to his back, and then Owen helped her check his broken bones to make sure they were setting right. She didn't want to have to break them again. They then removed the IV, and made sure he was ready to go. The entire time Owen was in the room, the Doctor refused to open his eyes.

Once Owen was gone, Martha gently started to talk to him again. "It's okay, it's just me. We need to get you dressed." She repeated this until he opened his eyes and looked at her. The fear was gone. She slowly helped him to sit up in the bed and put a pillow behind his back.

"Lift your arm," she said and he did. Martha slid the shirt sleeve over his cast, and then helped him with the other arm. She pulled the shirt down over his head. She then helped him pull the shorts on. Jack came in with a wheel chair and unlike with Owen, the Doctor left his eyes open and watched Jack. Jack moved to one side, and Martha the other and together they got him into the chair. Jack wheeled him out of the room, and into the van. Martha walked beside him talking to him encouragingly.

-The Doctor-

He was scared of where they were going. They hadn't moved him out of the building since he was taken. The van didn't have any windows in the back, so all he could do was wait while they drove. Martha stayed by his side the entire time. The van stopped and the doors opened. He was wheeled out and as his eyes adjusted to the bright sun he could see the one thing he has longed for, his TARDIS. He nearly started to cry in happiness. Martha wheeled him up to it as Jack watched them. He couldn't contain his eagerness as she put the key in the door, and opened it. She wheeled him in, and he looked at the familiar control room.

"Thanks Jack." He heard her say, and then the door closed behind them. she started to push him past the console and he put a hand on the wheel to stop her. "No," he said softly, surprising himself, the first words he has spoken in months. He reached out to the console, and gently stroked it. He laid his hand on the console, and felt the familiar hum of the TARDIS flow through him.

-Martha Jones-

She pushed him into the TARDIS intent on taking him to his room, and getting him settled but he surprised her as she pushed him past the console. He put his hand on the wheel, and said in a barely audible voice. "No." She locked the wheels on the chair and stepped back. She watched him gingerly reach out and start stroking the controls. She watched him for awhile before she knelt down near him.

"Come on, lets get you to your room," she said softly. She unlocked the chair, and took him to his room. He offered her little help as she put him in his bed, and got him settled.

"Do you want anything? she asked. He glanced at her, and then towards the door.

"You want me to leave." The tiniest of movement of his head.

"All right. I'll be nearby if you need me." And she left him alone in his room.


	4. Healing

-The Doctor-

The Doctor lay in quietly in his room as he listened to her crying. He apologized silently, and wished he hadn't sent Martha away. He closed his eyes and tried to it block out, but the crying got louder until it felt like it was going to overwhelm him. Just as he was starting to get frantic the door to his room opened, and Martha entered carrying a cup of tea and a small plate of food.

"How are you feeling?" she asked softly as she set the plate down beside him. He looked up at her sadly, and she stroked his hair back. "Do you want me to read to you while you eat?"

He barely moved his head in a nod, and she picked up a book, and settled down in his armchair. As she read to him, he watched her, as Martha's voice drowned out her crying. But she was still there, she would always be there.

-Martha Jones-

Two more weeks had passed. He was getting better. He was answering her in simple yes and no answers, but he still wouldn't acknowledge the fact he needed anything. She kept food and water near him at all times in case, and also helped him to the bathroom every few hours. He wasn't able to walk yet due to the cast, and he hated the wheelchair, scowling every time she helped him transfer into it.

Owen came back to help her remove the cast on the Doctor's arm and reduce the ones on his legs. The Doctor closed his eyes and shut down again. Martha tried to tell him, "Owen is helping you," and "you are safe." But the entire time Owen was there she didn't get an answer from him. Martha was thankful that she would be able to take care of him ,on her own from here. He didn't seem to mind Jack being there, but if any other members of Torchwood came with him, the Doctor immediately shut down. She made a note that she would have to get him out, and observe whether this was with everybody or just certain people.

It was a couple of hours after Owen had left. Martha was sitting in the chair next to his bed, and he was watching her again. She didn't like to see the vibrant Time Lord so quiet and still.

"You'll have to talk to me sometime," she commented, and he raised his eyebrows at her with a smirk.

"You can't stay silent forever Doctor. It's not good. You need to talk about what happened." His eyes closed tightly.

"When you're ready, not now. It's okay. I'm not going to force you to do anything you're not ready to." He left his eyes closed, and refused to acknowledge her again as his breathing sped up. She wasn't about to give up, but she knew he wouldn't answer her again until his eyes opened. It was a defense he had started using, while they were still at Torchwood hub. She wondered if he had used it used with the people who had held him as well. She sat there and waited.

-The Doctor-

He didn't like Owen being on his TARDIS. He also wasn't happy the man was touching him and helping Martha. He had gotten use to Martha's touch these last three week. She had to help him out quite a bit with his day to day needs. He kept his eyes closed, and went limp the entire time Owen was there. He didn't acknowledge Martha again until he had been in his own bed again for a couple of hours. Then he opened his eyes to look at her. She was sitting in her usual place watching him.

She noticed him staring at her. He half listened to her until she mentioned him talking about what had happened. With that, he immediately closed his eyes again, and tried to control his breathing. He didn't want her to know how weak he had been. How he hadn't been able to fight them. All of the beatings, being chained up and whipped. The cage he was shoved into. The time he had been allowed to lay down. A shudder went through his body. She was talking again but he didn't hear anything she was saying. He was too caught up in the memories he had allowed to surface.

He felt the cold steel of the cage digging into his skin. He was forced to be on his hands and knees, curled into a tight ball when he was in the cage. He had been too weak, and surprised the first time they had shoved him into the cage to fight much. The second time they tried, he had grabbed the outside of the cage, and they had broken his arm to get him into it.

He didn't notice the tears that were starting to fall down his cheeks, or notice that Martha had moved until he felt her take his hand. He opened his eyes slowly and stared at her through blurry eyes.

-Martha Jones-

"It's okay," Martha said, her voice near tears herself. She sat there, and held his hand until she thought he had fallen asleep. She let go, and stood up to leave. But as she approached the door, she heard him softly behind her. "Read to me."

She turned and headed to the chair instead. She picked up the book and looked at him. He had his eyes barely open, and was watching her. She removed the bookmark and started to read. She kept reading long after his breathing evened out.


	5. Stories

-The Doctor-

He was sitting quietly on his bed. Martha had tried several times that morning to transfer in him to the wheelchair, and he had remained limp making it difficult on her.

"Fine, you can just wet the bed," Martha huffed as she stormed out of the room. He was left alone for almost an hour, before he felt Jack's presence. He looked up to see Jack leaning against the door frame, sipping a cup of coffee.

"Martha is only trying to help you," Jack scolded him softly. "Do you have to make it difficult on her?" Jack entered the room and set the cup of coffee on the table by the bed. Jack sat down on the bed next to the Doctor and looked at him seriously.

"Why don't you want your cast off?" Jack asked and he looked down.

"I can't walk," he answered quietly.

"No, you can't with the cast, but once you get them off you will learn how to again." The Doctor shook his head and Jack gently took his chin and tilted it up to meet Jack's eyes.

"Are you afraid that even with the cast off, you won't be able to walk? You won't walk again over night, but there is nothing to suggest you can't walk. Hell, you'll probably be out running me again in a few months. So how about you let Martha remove the cast, and then you can take a real bath." Jack suggested and he nodded softly. Jack went over and got the wheelchair, but the Doctor's scowl stopped him.

"You want me to carry you instead?" Jack asked and the Doctor shook his head. He helped Jack transfer him into the chair, and they headed to the medical bay.

-Martha Jones-

"Damn it," he stated as he slammed his fist down hard on the floor.

"Doctor breathe," Martha told him calmly. They were working on getting him walking, and he was frustrated again. She had explained to him that it would take time due to the fact he hadn't walked in months, but as they stretched his legs that morning he had been hopeful. She had helped him stand, and grab on to the bars in front of him. Between trying to hold himself up with his weak right arm and his legs shaking, he barely took two steps before collapsing onto the floor.

After trying and failing to get him to try again, Martha helped him back into the wheel chair. He glared at the bars as though he blamed them for him not being able to walk still, and perhaps he did. She pushed him into the living area, and helped him onto the couch. She sat down in the chair across from him, and pulled out a notepad.

"All right, now where were we?" she asked and he just stared at her like usual. She had been trying to get him to talk to her, but he still wouldn't. She knew she was being easy on him, but she couldn't help it, because even though his body was still weak he was healed. Mentally though he was still fragile, and whenever she tried to push him he stopped answering her and seemed to shut down.

-The Doctor-

He had traveled the whole universe, and during his travels he had never stopped running. Now he was completely reliant on someone else to take care of him, and he didn't like it. It had been just under two months since Martha had brought him back to the TARDIS, and rather than running, he still had it parked in the same spot. They had been working on building up the muscles in his arms and legs. He was able to stand for short periods of time unassisted, and today he was determined that he was going to walk.

"Damn it," he cursed aloud when he fell, and silently he cursed everything else. Martha helped him into the wheel chair, and then onto the couch.

"All right, now where were we?" she asked him and he didn't answer. It was the same place they had been at since she had started this two weeks ago. She would take him to work on getting back on his feet, and then try to talk to him. He had stared at her hoping that she would stop, but she had continued it. He opened his mouth, and started in a low voice.

"I was just passing through, I swear I was, I wasn't looking for trouble. I felt something hit me hard in the head, and when I woke up, I was in that room." He stopped and stared at her again.

-Martha Jones-

She heard the words coming out of his mouth, but didn't quite believe he was talking to her. He stopped as quickly as he started, and she waited patiently for him to go on, but he didn't talk again for the rest of the hour. As the hour ended, and she started to stand up he spoke up again.

"Why do we have to talk about this?"

"Because you won't feel better until you let it out. Whatever happened, whatever they did to you, it wasn't your fault." She said softly.

She made them lunch and he picked at the food like normal. She then wheeled him into the library and picked up the book they had been reading. She started to read it but she could tell he wasn't paying attention. She paused.

"Doctor," she said.

"They left me chained in that room for days without food or water until I was weak. Then they let me down, and tried to get me to drink out of a bowl. When I refused they chained me up again and left me. When they returned again two days later I was to thirsty to fight them and drank." He paused again his eyes glazing over.

"What else happened?" She asked him as he seemed distracted for a moment. He seemed startled by her voice, and looked at her with sad eyes. She waited for him to go on, but he seemed to be done for the day.

Over the next few days he opened up to her more. He told her about the cage, and them breaking his arm. He talked about how they broke both his legs when he tried to run away from them. He continued to talk until he got to the part where they drug him into a second room. He looked frightened and said, "then I woke up in Torchwood hub."

"Doctor," she said softly.

"I woke up in Torchwood hub," he said more firmly. She stared at him and he repeated it again and again, getting more frantic as he did until he finally shut his eyes and shut down. She sighed they had been getting so close. She knew he was lying to her about that being the end of it. He hadn't mentioned where the marks on his back and legs came from.

She waited for him to open his eyes again. As soon as he did so, she said, "tell me about the room."

His eyes closed immediately again. But she was patient, and after the eighth time she asked him, he left his eyes open and stared at her.

"No," he said finally. She continued to wait, but he offered her nothing more.


	6. Defeat

\- The Doctor -

He was on the concrete floor. His hands cuffed behind his back. His legs were free though as they had forgotten to secure them. He had tucked his legs up underneath him the best he could to try to hide it. He stretched and moved them gingerly. Slowly, he looked up. His guards were across the room, not paying attention. He stood up carefully and made a move towards the door.

"Grab him," Mrs. X, stated before he was even halfway there. He cursed silently as they tackled him to the floor. He should have known it was a trap. There were testing him to see if he had learned anything. They reattached the chains to him. Then strung him to the ceiling and secured him tightly.

"Oh bad doggy," Mrs. X said, he opened his mouth to respond, and watched the grin creep across her face. If he talked the punishment would be even worse. He closed his mouth again, and glared at her with all the hatred he had come to feel this last month. She continued to smile at him expectantly. Before long she turned and walked towards the door. His guards came forward, one of them holding a lead pipe. The man swung it, and he felt a sharp stabbing pain go through his right leg and up his body. His right arm burned in pain as all the weight in his body was suddenly transferred to his arms. He screamed out, and didn't see the man swing a second time, but felt his left leg shatter as well. His mind went numb. He didn't fight it as he lost conciseness.

His eyes popped open as the pain shot through his legs at the memory. "Martha," he moaned and then looked up, and realized she wasn't in the room. He lay there breathing heavily, trying to force the memory out of his mind. He wished she was there reading to him, then he could concentrate on the book, but the room was silent. He sat up slowly, and then stood up. His legs supported him while standing. He went to take a step forward very slowly and fell. Feeling defeated he lay there and cried.

\- Martha Jones -

A loud thump woke her up. "Doctor," she immediately cried out in concern and got out of bed. She quickly went to his room. She turned on the light, and saw him laying a few feet away from his bed. Panicked she rushed to his side.

"Are you okay," she asked concerned.

"I am a 907 year old Time Lord, who could make armies turn at the sound of my name. Now I can't even make it to the bathroom on my own," he spat at her. Then in a voice so low she could barely hear it, he asked the two words she never thought she would hear from him. "Why me?"

She couldn't answer him. She didn't know why. Jack had been trying to find out anything he could about the warehouse they had found the Doctor in, but it all led to nothing. The warehouse had been abandoned years ago when it's company had gone out of business. The company had no ties to Torchwood, U.N.I.T, The CIA or any other government or private company. Jack had his men watching the place around the clock, and no one had returned to the building. Jack personally had gone in looking for evidence of anyone else, and they had only found evidence of one other person. But she was listed as missing.

"I don't know," she said finally.

"Come on." she stood up and then helped him up off the floor and into the wheelchair. He was unwilling to corporate as she took him to the bathroom. Afterward she helped him to his bed and got him settled. She headed to the door and turned off the light.

"Martha," she heard him say as she closed the door.

"Yes."

"Stay with me." He sounded so childlike and scared she turned and headed back in the room. She went to the bed and climbed in covering up. Almost immediately he was next to her with his head on her chest, and was holding her. He was shaking, and she put her arms around him to try to comfort him.

"Shh, Shh, It's okay," Martha cooed.

"Martha, I-I-I did s-something h-h-h-horrible," he stuttered. "I-I d-didn't wa-want to, b-but I had no ch-choice."

"Whatever you did, whatever they forced you to do, wasn't your fault," she whispered softly. He broke down crying.

"I-I c-c-c-couldn't sa-save her."

"Save who." When he didn't answer, she looked down at him. She saw that he had shut down again. He was still shaking violently. She pulled the blankets tighter around them, and then started singing softly to him. She moved her hand to his head, and tried to stroke his hair but he flinched away, so she returned to holding him.

His breathing evened out, and she thought he had fallen asleep. She sat there silently until she heard him say.

"Martha, are you going to leave me?"

"Never," she told him honestly and leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "I'll stay with you as long as you need me to."


	7. Time With Jack

-The Doctor-

She was always crying. He could hear her as he laid in his bed, and he begged for her to stop. Beside him Martha slept soundly.

\- Martha Jones -

She had arisen early, and called Jack to see if he could stay with the Doctor for a few hours. She hadn't been off the TARDIS for more then a few minutes since she had brought the Doctor home. While she loved it there, she couldn't help him if she was going insane herself. Tish had invited her out for lunch, and she jumped at the opportunity to relax for a little while. She was feeling slightly guilty though as she sat on the couch across from the Doctor and waited for him to talk. Everything that had spilled out of his mouth a two weeks ago had seemed to be all he would say.

"Tell me about the room," she said again and he didn't respond. His eyes glazed over. He seemed lost in his thoughts as he sat and stared over her shoulder.

\- The Doctor -

He heard her say "tell me about the room." It was all she wanted to talk about but her couldn't tell her. If he did she would be so disgusted with him that she would leave him forever, and he couldn't bare the thought of her not being there. His mind went back to the first time he entered the room.

The chains were undone, and he was dropped roughly to the floor. He passed out briefly as his broken bones jolted painfully on the ground. When he came to he was being drug through a door he hadn't noticed before. He was laid down on the bed in the room, and then the guards left. He lay there waiting to see what happened when they came back with a young lady. She couldn't have been more then 20. She was fighting them, and screaming at them to let her go. They threw her into the room. She landed roughly on her knees, and scrambled to get away from them. One of the guards stepped forward, grabbed her hair, and forced her head back to look at the Doctor. Mrs. X came into the room behind them.

"Isn't she pretty," she said looking at him. He just stared at her, not daring to answer.

"Look at her." He looked and saw that she had a thin face and long brown hair. Her blue eyes were red around the edges, and her face was streaked with tears. Mrs X. turned and moved towards the door. The other guard stepped forward and grabbed the girl. She fought them as they tore her clothes off, and then threw her on the bed as well. She tried to stand up. The guard hit her sending her flying backwards again. He tried to help her, and was rewarded with being hit so hard he blacked out for a moment. He came to as they were tying her down to the bed. Her arms above her head and her legs spread wide.

Mrs. X gave him a satisfied smile.

"You like her. She's yours." He looked at her confused.

"Go on take her." Realizing what they wanted he shook his head no. Her smile faded.

"Oh, Bad dog," she spat. He was drug out of the room and chained up again. She came up to him.

"Have you learned nothing. You can't tell me no." She drug her nails down his cheek and then slapped him. He watched as one of the guards approached her and handed her a whip. He didn't think the pain could get any worse until he felt the first lash across his back. He bit his tongue to keep from crying out as tears filled his eyes. Ten lashes later they turned and left the room.

They returned later that day. She held the whip still in her hand. "Are you ready to listen." He shook his head no.

"You leave me no choice," she whipped him again, he lost track of how many times. He was numb when they left the room again. When the room was quiet he could hear the girl in the room nearby crying, and screaming for somebody to help her. He couldn't answer her, he knew that if he did they would come back. All he could do was listen, as he shut down his mind for the first time.

\- Martha Jones -

"Doctor," she said softly and he didn't respond. He just continued to stare at the same point on the wall.

"Doctor." She softly put her hand on his shoulder and he jerked away quickly. His eyes filling with fear. She hears a gentle knock on the door and stands up to see Jack standing there. She looked down at her watch.

"You're early," she told him. "I'm sorry I wasted your time. I can't go out now and leave him like this."

"You need to think of yourself too Martha," Jack said coming up behind her. "He'll be fine for a few hours."

She looked back at the Doctor and realized that he was staring at them. Hearing Jack's voice had snapped his mind back to reality.

"You're leaving me," he asked sadly.

"Just for a few hours," Martha said softly. "Tish wants to see me. I'll be back in time for dinner, but Jack is going to stay with you for the afternoon."

She left the room to get ready.

\- The Doctor -

Jack sat down in the chair, Martha had vacated moments before. He stared at Jack, and wondered how long it would be before Jack left him too. He had driven Martha away, he had been trying to get back on his feet, but maybe it wasn't enough. Martha came back into the room wearing her normal jeans and shirt. She had done her hair up and put on make up. She came over to him and gave him a brief hug, and then kissed the top of his head.

"I'll be back. I promise," she said to him again. She turned to Jack.

"Take good care of him." And Jack saluted her. Once she was gone, he turned his attention back to Jack.

"You hungry, Doctor?" Jack asked him and he shook his head.

"You want to read." He picked up the book Martha and him had started recently.

"No," he whispered softly. He ran his hands through his hair and down his beard. He hadn't shaved or had a hair cut since he had been put in that room. Maybe it was time to change that. He pulled his hair down and looked at it.

"Can you help me?" he asked him and Jack stood. Taking Jack's arm he walked slowly down the corridor to the bathroom.

"Just about finished," Jack said and he heard the scissors sniping again.

"There," Jack announced and leaned back to admire his work, he grabbed a small mirror off the counter and held it out to the Doctor. He took the mirror and looked into it. He smiled as he saw the man he once was looking out at him. His hair was spiked, and his face was shaved except for the side burns.

"Thank you," he said setting down the mirror and pulling himself up. Jack reached out to help him, and he held out his hand to stop Jack. He balanced himself on the counter. He then walked slowly to the bathroom door. Leaning heavily against the corridor walls he managed to walk the few feet to the kitchen and sit down.

Jack who had been following him, left to clean the bathroom. He pulled himself up again and made his way slowly to the counter. He looked in the cupboards, happy to see someone had gone shopping. He started pulling things down. Martha had been taking care of him, now he would take care of her. He was going to make her dinner.


	8. Choices

\- The Doctor -

He had been a little ambitious with the meal and he knew it. He decided to go all out and make her spaghetti, but as he stood stirring the sauce his legs had begun to shake. Jack was sitting at the end of the table with a newspaper in his hands. Even though Jack was pretending to ignore him the chair at the end kept being pushed closer to him by Jack's foot. He could also tell by Jack's look that if he didn't sit down soon he would be forced into the chair. He reached out behind him and grabbed on to it. Slowly he lowered himself down.

"Jack can you stir that," he asked him. Jack smiled happily as he took the Doctor's place at the stove. The Doctor reached down and tenderly rubbed his aching legs, knowing he would regret it later. He sat in silence for a little while, watching Jack before he looked down.

"Jack, could you do something you knew you would regret, to save someone's life?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He all ready knew the answer, but he needed to hear Jack say it. For Jack to tell him that he had made the right choice.

"I know you could," Jack replied. "You have saved thousands, possibly even millions."

"Answer the question," he sighed, still not meeting Jack's eyes.

The timer went off and Jack turned down the heat. Jack then pulled up the chair across from him. Jack reached down and grabbed the Doctor's leg and pulled it onto his lap. He took of his converse and began a slow massage on the Doctor's leg muscles. The Doctor tried to pull away, but Jack held his leg firmly.

"Martha is going to kill me when she comes back and finds you are in pain," Jack told him. He proceeded to try to pull away from Jack, but Jack held on. He realized he was on the losing end and stopped trying to move his leg. He closed his eyes and let the darkness wash over his senses.

"Whatever they made you do isn't your fault," he heard Jack say. He kept his eyes closed as he steadied his breathing and then opened them again.

"You've been talking to Martha."

"Yes and no. She hasn't told me anything accept you won't talk about a room. Everything else is between you and her," Jack replied as he began the massage again.

"I couldn't save her," the Doctor said sadly.

"Save who?" Jack wondered.

"I never learned her name. I wasn't allowed to talk to her." He watched Jack work on his leg.

"Did you see her?" Jack asked him and he nodded. "What did she look like?"

He closed his eyes for a minute. He wished he could picture her full of life, but all he had ever seen from her was pain and sadness. He opened his eyes as he began to speak in a low voice.

"Brown hair that fell past her shoulders, a thin pale face with vibrant blue eyes." He lifted his eyes and seeing the look on Jack's face, paused in his description.

"You know her," he finished.

"No," Jack replied.

"That wasn't a question. You know her."

"I don't know her. But I have seen her picture. We found her DNA at the warehouse." He turned his eyes towards the stove. His appitite was gone and the smell of the food was making him sick.

"Bathroom," he barely whispered, but Jack got the hint. Picking him up Jack ran down the corridor and sat him down in the bathroom. He just made it to his knees in front of the toilet before he threw up. He emptied the contents of his stomach and kept gagging after nothing else would come up. When he finally leaned back, Jack handed him a cold washcloth and he wiped his face. He rested against the wall and closed his eyes.

He had been hanging in the room for days, listening to her cry in the other room. She was getting weaker from the lack of food and water and her voice had grown hoarse from screaming. She screamed for somebody to help her. He wanted to talk to her and try to soothe her, but he didn't dare. His back still burned from the whipping he had received.

Mrs. X came into the room with her men. They pulled him down from the wall, throwing him roughly onto the floor. She gave him food and water in the bowls as normal. She cooed at him and called him a good boy as he drank greedily. He couldn't stomach the food though. He took a piece in his mouth and gagged immediately, almost throwing up the precious water in his stomach. He spit it out and then held his mouth tightly closed willing the water to stay down. The water was barely enough to satisfy his thirst and his mouth and lips still felt dry.

When they realized he was done, they picked him up off of the floor. Dragging his feet along the concrete, he was carried into the next room again. The guards threw him roughly on top of the girl. He willed his aching body to roll off of her as she screamed.

"Go on then," Mrs. X said. He stared at the ceiling refusing to acknowledge her.

"Fine then," Mrs. X cooed pleasantly. She snapped her fingers. One of the guards came forward and pulled him off the bed. He was held up against the guards chest, so that he was looking at the girl. Her eyes pleaded with him to help her. The other guard went and knelt beside her at the bed. He pulled a knife out and forced the girl's head back, placing the blade against her throat. He saw the terror in her eyes as he stared at her.

"Either you listen to me or we slit her pretty little throat," Mrs. X stated coldly. "You have two minutes."

He glared at Mrs. X.

"Choose.


	9. The Room

\- The Doctor -

He opened his eyes. He was slightly confused for a moment to see that he was still sitting on the bathroom floor. Jack was sitting on the counter staring at him with a look of concern.

"Help me up," he whispered, lifting his arms up. Jack jumped down from where he sat, and firmly grasped the Doctor's hands. Jack didn't pull him up. Instead he let the Doctor push himself up. He kept an arm around the Doctor as together they walked back to the kitchen. As soon as they reached it he fell into the chair. He turned away from Jack and hid his face in his hands.

"What was her name?" the Doctor asked.

"Don't do this to yourself," Jack replied turning his attention back to the meal.

"I still hear her crying," he admitted quietly, his mouth pressed against his palms.

"What?"

"I still hear her crying," he repeated, his voice still muffled by his hands.

"Do you hear her now?" Jack wondered. The Doctor nodded. He heard Jack walk over and then Jack's hands on him. Jack gently began to massage his shoulders and down his back.

"Don't do this to yourself Doctor."

"Please, Jack. I need to know," he begged.

Jack sighed, "her name was Hannah."

"Have they found her?" he asked Jack.

"No," Jack responded. "Will they find her alive?"

"No," the Doctor whimpered. He began to shake as he fought of the tears threatening to stream down his face. Jack stopped massaging his back and sat down in a chair facing him. Jack pulled him over and held his head against his chest. The Doctor relaxed in to Jack as he began to gently rub his back.

"What happened?" Jack asked. He shook his head as the tears he had been fighting broke free. He clung tightly to Jack, needing to feel his warmth. He finally broke free when he heard Martha approaching the kitchen.

"Oh my god, look at you," Martha exclaimed happily as she entered the room.

\- Martha Jones -

She left the TARDIS and met with Tish at a small cafe about two miles away. It was nice to be out but she couldn't help thinking about the Doctor. Her thoughts were still else where when she heard Tish say, "Martha."

"Oh right." She focused on Tish again. "Go on I'm listening."

Tish crossed her arms at her. "What were we talking about?"

"Dad?" She guessed.

"That was ten minutes ago," Tish exclaimed.

"Oh."

"Honestly Martha, the whole family is worried about you. We haven't seen you in months."

"I've been taking care of the Doctor. I have told everyone this countless times," Martha said exasperated.

"But couldn't someone else do it."

"No," she stated firmly. She wasn't going to leave the Doctor. "He has been through so much, and he has made so much progress lately. I'm not going to abandon him now. I know if it was reversed he wouldn't just abandon me."

Thankfully Tish had dropped it after that, and the rest of the afternoon was peaceful. As she pulled up in front of the TARDIS she was happy to be home. She sat in the car for a moment though, wondering when she had begun to think of it as home. She got out of the car and upon entering headed straight to the living area. Divine smells were coming from the kitchen. She entered the kitchen and was shocked to see the Doctor sitting there.

"Oh, my god. Look at you," she exclaimed happily as she saw his hair cut and that he had shaved. He was still wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but at least it was a start. She kissed his head.

"Are you okay?" He nodded and wiped the tears from his face as he smiled up at her.

"Did you have fun with Tish?" he asked her.

"Yes," she answered not elaborating. She then turned her attention to the dinner. "This looks delicious, did you make it?"

"Jack helped."

"He cooked and I just stirred.," Jack told her. He came over and kissed her on the cheek. "I should be going."

"Stay," she told him. "Looks like there is plenty for three."

"I couldn't."

"Sure you could," the Doctor replied giving Jack a look. Jack nodded and helped Martha dish up the food, and then joined them at the table. She started eating. She grew worried as she noticed that the Doctor was picking at his food even more then normal. She gave Jack a look.

He looked apologetic as he mouthed, "I'll tell you later." She nodded.

\- The Doctor -

He was laying on his bed on top of the blankets, staring at the ceiling. They had finished eating, and then Martha insisted he lay down for awhile while her and Jack cleaned up. He was feeling too sick to fight it. Jack carried him to his room and laid him on the bed. That is where he remained, trying to block out her crying. His legs were aching but he ignored the pain. Martha came in after awhile and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Feeling better," she asked and he nodded. "Don't lie to me."

She took his hand. "Jack told me you were asking about Hannah. What happened to her?" He just shook his head. "Please Doctor tell me."

He rolled on his side so he wasn't facing her.

"She died," he said softly. "She died and it's all my fault."

"How is it your fault?" she asked him. Rather than answer her she watched his eyes close. She could tell by his breathing that he hadn't gone to sleep, but he continued to ignore her. She waited patently for him to open his eyes again, but after an hour she realized he wasn't going to. He left them closed until Martha left the room. Once she was gone, he rolled onto his back again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

\- Martha Jones -

Her and Jack sat up late into the night talking. Realizing it was almost midnight, she convinced Jack just to stay the night. Saying good night, she checked on the Doctor before heading to bed. He was still laying on top of the blankets snoring softly. She went into the closet and pulled out an extra blanket. Careful not to wake him, she covered him up and then headed to her room.

It was around two am when she was awoken by her door opening. She saw the Doctor standing in the light of the hallway briefly before he shuffled in, and closed the door. Rather then coming to the bed like normal, he walked slowly to the chair in the room and sat down.

"Doctor," she said and sat up. "What's wrong?" She reached for the light and heard him say "Don't." and she lowered her hand and waited.

"I was put in the room on the bed and they brought her in." He said in a low voice so low she had to strain to hear him. "I didn't understand until they stripped her and tied her to the bed next to me. I tried to help her but I couldn't. They wanted me to..." He paused and she heard him gulp. "Anyway I refused. They took me out of the room and whipped me. When they came back later, I still refused so they whipped me again." He went quiet again. As her eyes adjusted to the dark she could see him sitting in the chair shaking violently. She waited for him to continue.

"They left us for a couple of days and I could hear her crying whenever she was awake. She was so scared Martha, and I couldn't help her. They returned and took me back to the room. I refused again so they grabbed me and held me in front of her. I was told to choose either I-I-I" another pause. "Or they would kill her. They pulled a knife out and put it to her throat. I agreed. I agreed. I didn't know if I could, I was so weak, but I agreed." He was crying now, she could hear his sobs. She started to move towards him but he held out his hand and she stopped.

"I saw the confusion in her eyes as they, they slit her th-th-throat. I don't know how long they left me in there until they returned." He went silent again. This time when she moved to hold him he didn't stop her.

"Do you hate me?" he asked silently.

"Never."

\- The Doctor -

"They slit her th-th-throat," he told Martha and went silent. They had made him watch while she died in front of his eyes. He had agreed to do what they wanted and still they had killed her. He had only agreed to save her life. In the short time he had to think, he decided to try to give her a chance.

Mrs. X stroked his cheek again.

"You killed her," she said into his ear. "If you had just listened in the first place, she wouldn't have died. Her blood is on your hands." They dropped him on the floor and left him there. He didn't know how long, he didn't try to keep track.

When they came back, they chained and whipped him again, but he didn't care. He had given up. Over the next couple of days he grew weaker as he refused food and water. He was beat over and over again, but still he heard her crying in the next room.

"Do you hate me," he asked Martha as she came over and wrapped her arms around him. He expected her to leave him now that she knew the truth.

"Never," she replied, but he knew the truth. How could she possibly not hate him, when he hated himself?


	10. Giving Up

\- The Doctor -

Regardless of how much they continued to beat him, he refused their food and water. He had become weak to the point where he could barely lift his head up. The guard lifted his head and shoved food into his mouth gagging him. He coughed and spit the food out on the floor. He felt more then saw the hand hit him across the face and tasted blood. More food was forced into his mouth and this time it was covered roughly until he had no choice but to swallow. As soon as the food went down, his stomach painfully rejected it. He was hit again but no more food was offered.

The guard's partner came in and they disappeared behind him. A few minutes later they came out carrying the girl. He watched as they carried her out the main door and it closed behind them. He was left alone again and in the silence he still heard her crying.

He was growing weaker. He knew that he was going to die in the room, so he decided to give her his days. He closed his eyes and gave her the life she could never have now. He gave her sunsets on far off planets. He gave her days beneath blue skies, as well as nights below the twinkling stars. He ran with her across green grass and sandy beaches. In his mind he gave her love and hope. He gave her the life that she had lost. He felt his mind shutting down again, and he let it as he gave her one last thing, peace.

He woke up warm underneath a pile of blankets. He vaguely remembered Martha moving him to the bed after they had sat in the chair for awhile. Without opening his eyes he reached out his mind. He felt the wrongness that was Jack. Jack's presence there meant only one thing, Martha had left him.

He didn't even realize that he had said the words out loud until he heard Jack say, "No, she didn't." In a soft kind voice. He squirmed deeper beneath the blankets and buried his head, hiding like a child.


	11. The Truth

\- Martha Jones -

She had sat with the Doctor for awhile, just holding him in silence. He had started to fall asleep, so rather than take him back to his room, she led him to her bed and tucked him in. He was still shaking. She wasn't sure of whether or not he was cold, but still she pulled out extra blankets and threw them over him. She tucked him in and dropped a kiss onto his head before leaving the room.

With his words in her head she couldn't sleep. Instead she headed to Jack's room and woke him before going to the kitchen. Placing water in the kettle, she waited for it to boil before making two cups of coffee. As Jack came into the room yawning, she offered him one and sat down herself with the other. Martha then proceeded to tell Jack everything she had learned that night.

"How could he agree to rape her?" Martha asked Jack.

"He wanted to save her life," Jack replied taking another drink and Martha just stared at him. "He had only a short time to make the decision. If god for bid, it happened to you, you may not be the same but at least you would be alive. You can't come back from death." He leaned back in his chair. "Are you sure he told you everything?"

"No, I still think he is holding something back," she told Jack. "He only said that he agreed. He won't admit to me whether he actually went through with it. Do you think he did?"

"We may never know, but it would explain why he still hears her cry," Jack said.

"He still hears her cry?" Martha asked surprised.

"He never told you that?" She shook her head no and they sat there in silence. When morning came she started to make breakfast while Jack went to sit with him.

The Doctor came into the room slowly looking at her sadly. Martha sat down a cup of tea and his breakfast in front of him and he began to pick at it slowly. She exchanged a look with Jack as he started on his meal as well.

\- The Doctor -

He followed Jack slowly to the kitchen and saw Martha standing at the counter. He sat down in his place at the table and she sat down his breakfast in front of him and a cup of tea. He picked at the toast and as he took a drink of the tea he saw her and Jack exchange a look.

He looked at Martha, "You told him." She didn't try to deny it and he was glad, he didn't want to be lied to.

Jack took a deep breath. "But you haven't told her everything, have you?"

He stopped with the tea midway to his lips. "What do you mean?"

"There's more to the story," Jack said. "You did what they wanted to try to save her life and they still killed her."

\- Martha Jones -

She heard Jack's words and turned to look at the Doctor. She noticed how pale and sick he looked again. He had closed his eyes again at Jacks words and was shaking.

"Jack," Martha warned.

"You've been nice long enough Martha," Jack responded. "Now he needs to admit what he did so he can start moving on. Now tell us the truth Doctor."

She noticed the Doctor flinch at Jack's words but he kept his eyes squeezed tightly closed.

"Doctor," she whispered. "Open your eyes please and talk to us." He opened them and looked at her.

Jack leaned over and took his hand gently. "Doctor after you agreed what happened?" Fear filled the man's eyes and the shaking got worse then ever but he still refused to speak. The Doctor's eyes darted around in fear. He looked towards the door as though he was thinking of making a run for it.

"You did it," Martha said softly. He nodded barely moving his head. She covered her mouth and felt her eyes fill with tears.

\- The Doctor -

They had held him up in front of her. He looked her in the eyes. He wasn't allowed to talk to her, but he looked in to her eyes and saw the fear. He couldn't just let her die. He couldn't have sex with her either if she was unwilling. He realized he was about out of time. He nodded his consent as he tried desperately to think of a way out of it.

The guard threw him on the bed on top of her as the other guard moved the knife away from her throat. Mrs. X left the room with one of the guards and the other stood at the door.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He felt a sharp sting across his back as the whip snapped. He looked up at her and saw the tears running down her face. She closed her eyes and he tried to figure out how to proceed. He had never been forced to have sex with anyone before. He reached up with his good arm. Thumbing a tear away from her cheek. She shook her head at his touch. He moved his arm back down. He laid there until he felt the whip again. He moved his hips slightly and pain shot through his legs. He cried out and moved himself trying to reduce the pain. He heard the whip snap again.

"Get to it, or she dies," the guard threatened.

He closed his eyes tightly. He focused on the movements distancing himself as much as possible. He couldn't do it. He couldn't make his body respond. He tried to think of somewhere else. He wouldn't ruin a past encounter with someone he had loved. The Doctor wanted to give up, but he couldn't do that either. He truly felt trapped with no choice.

Finally, he felt himself getting hard as he moved against her. Hating himself, he moved his hips. He slipped into her and she cried out. He stroked her arm gently trying to comfort her. Instead she cried harder and he stopped. He continued to move inside of her until he felt his body betray him, pouring himself into her. He pulled out quickly, rolling off of her. He collapsed on the bed and used his free arm to cover his eyes. He lay there wishing he was anywhere else. He heard her breathing shakily beside him. She was beyond tears.

The door opened again. The Doctor was yanked off the bed roughly. He watched in horror as they pulled her head back and cut her throat. Her eyes masking his confusion as he realized that everything he had just done was for nothing. Mrs. X blamed him for her death before they threw him to the floor and left. He lay there in shock. Slowly he pulled himself over to the bed and closed her eyes.


	12. Letting Go

\- The Doctor -

He watched as Martha stood up and left the room. It was one thing to guess what happened and another thing to know it for sure. He knew she needed time to think but it still hurt to watch her go. He turned to look at Jack sadly and waited for him to leave as well. Jack just picked up his tea and took another sip.

"You need to eat Doctor, you're too thin," Jack commented. "I do like my guys skinny but at this point I would hurt you." Jack flirted and the Doctor got a small smile despite himself.

"Aren't you going to leave," he asked as he started picking at the toast again. He put a piece in his mouth and felt the nausea wash over him again. He tried to pick up his tea but his hand was shaking too badly and he knocked it over instead. Jack stood up and got a towel and started to clean the mess.

"Do you want me to?" Jack asked him seriously.

"No. I don't want Martha to leave either. She is going to though. I don't deserve to be forgiven for it. I deserve to be put back in that room and left."

"Don't say that," Jack scolded. He set the towel down and wrapped his arms around the Time Lord, holding his head tightly to his chest. Hating what he was about to do but knowing it was for the best he swallowed hard.

"I could have escaped," Jack said and the Doctor pulled back from him. He pushed the chair backwards and stood up.

"Nobody could have escaped," the Doctor responded as anger flashed in his eyes.

Jack shrugged as he chose his next words carefully. "You were weak." He shrugged. "I am just stronger then you. You wanted to hurt her."

"Get off my TARDIS," the Doctor hissed.

"I bet it made you feel powerful," Jack choked on the words. The hatred that flashed through the Doctor's eyes scared him but he stood his ground. As much as it scared him, Jack was also happy to see the return of the Oncoming Storm.

"You weren't there." The Doctor cried angrily and swung hitting Jack hard in the chest. "You weren't whipped, beaten, and starved or had your bones broken because you fought back."

The Doctor's voice had started soft but as he continued he was getting louder and punching at Jack with more violence. Jack didn't try to defend himself as he let the Doctor vent. "You weren't told the only way to save someone was to rape them and then forced to watch as they killed her. Knowing that everything they forced you to do to her was for nothing. You didn't lie in the room with her until they finally came and got you just to hang you from chains again or shove you into a cage. I was going to die in that room." He collapsed to his knees sobbing. "I was suppose to die in that room."

Martha rushed back into the room and wrapped her arms around the Doctor. He turned his face into her chest and sobbed like a lost child.

"What did you do to him?" she asked Jack.

\- Martha Jones -

She stood up and left the room. She needed a moment to breathe. She couldn't imagine the Doctor raping anyone regardless of whether or not there was a choice. She knew she was hurting him by leaving the room but she wanted to be alone. She wandered around the TARDIS thinking before heading back to the kitchen. As she neared the kitchen she could hear the Doctor screaming. Picking up her pace she entered the room as he dropped to his knees crying. She held him as he sobbed until he fell asleep in her arms.

Jack gently picked the Doctor up in his arms and carried him out of the kitchen into his room. Together they got the Time Lord comfortable and tucked him into the bed. Jack planned on leaving but Martha convinced him to stay with her. After his breakdown in the kitchen, the Doctor had slept almost 24 hours straight. She was worried about him but every time she checked on him, he was resting peacefully and so she let him sleep. As he slept she made plans with Jack to get him off the TARDIS and back into the real world.


	13. Endings

\- The Doctor -

He woke up in the morning to find himself alone in his room. He heard the gentle sobbing of Hannah, and wondered if he would ever be able to let her completely go. He lay there apologizing to her as he tried desperately to block her out. The door to his room opened and Martha poked her head in.

"Hey, sleepy head," she said happily and he smiled at her. "You had us worried. You were asleep almost a full day."

"Sorry, I was tired," he said and got out of bed as Martha got into the closet and pulled out his pinstriped suit. He looked at her as though she were crazy and headed to the dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans.

"How about we wear this today," she said overly cheerful.

He turned to look at her, "Why?" he asked curiously.

"Because we're going out," she replied.

"I can't."

"You can't stay here forever. You once told me that there was too much to explore and see to stay in one place." She laid his suit down on the chair and left the room. A few minutes later Jack came in. He narrowed his eyes at Jack.

"I was only helping," Jack said. "Now get dressed." Jack picked up the suit and took the coat off the hanger. He stared at Jack. Jack ignored the look of hatred.

"Get started or I will dress you myself." Jack handed him his trousers and then leaned back against the dresser, crossing his arms.

Grumbling he pulled off his sweat pants and pulled on his trousers. He then took off his nightshirt and reached into the drawer and pulled out a white shirt, and pulled it on before putting on and buttoning up his shirt. Jack helped him slip on the suit jacket, and then tie his tie. He buttoned the suit jacket. He ran his hands through his hair and then sat down to put his socks and converse shoes on.

"Looking good," Martha said coming back into the room. "Ready to face the world?"

"No," he answered honestly. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He may look like the man who use to be able to face anything but he didn't feel like it and he doubted he ever would again.

\- Martha Jones -

They stepped off the TARDIS and into the sunlight. He was holding her hand so tightly it hurt but she didn't pull away. Instead she led him towards a small cafe on the corner. He matched her pace step by step, trusting her to keep him safe. They got to the cafe and the waitress showed them to a booth. He sat on the inside with her while Jack sat across. She could tell by his eyes that it was taking everything in him not to head back to the TARDIS. He didn't acknowledge the waitress when she came over nor did he notice when his food was put down in front of him. She knew it was a little ambitious for a first outing, but she thought it better to get him into the world.

Several times during the meal he had closed his eyes and shut down completely. His breathing would go ragged and hitch before returning to a slow even pace. When his eyes opened again the cycle would just start again. Her and Jack finished eating. He hadn't touched his food at all. She got it to go and then took his hand and led him back to the TARDIS where he promptly disappeared inside of it.

She continued to be patient with him and slowly they were spending more and more time away from the TARDIS. She woke up one morning to find him with almost his old enthusiasm as he set to work on getting the TARDIS ready to go into space. It had been almost seven months to the day he had first been taken and he was almost back to his old self. He smiled and laughed and was talking a lot more but he still would stare at nothing for long periods, and she would have to snap him out of it.

They explored space and time again until Jack called. They had finally found Hannah's body and the family was having a funeral. She told him time and time again he shouldn't go, but he insisted and landed the TARDIS a short way from the graveyard.

\- The Doctor -

He was feeling more like his old self. He knew a part of him would never recover, but just like with the Time War and the loss of Rose, he was learning to live with what had happened. Although he would never understand why. Jack called them one day and told them that her body had been found. It had been dumped in a wooded area and was badly burned. He argued Martha about going to her funeral and in the end she agreed to join him.

He stood at the edge of the graveyard under the cover of the trees with Martha. He wasn't about to approach them and tell them anything but he wanted to go and hear about her. He listened to the stories and began to piece together the life of a girl who was loved and brought happiness to others.

They stood and waited until long after the others had left and then he walked forward and laid a single red rose on her grave. He closed his eyes and finally let her go.


End file.
